


The Ultimate Ferrari Season Prediction

by liesorlife



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-11 05:10:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2054856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liesorlife/pseuds/liesorlife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I know the season is half over, but I wrote this at the beginning of the season... Maybe I should have made it about Lewis and Nico, but oh well too late!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ultimate Ferrari Season Prediction

Australia  
With ten laps to go Kimi Raikkonen is leading a comfortable Ferrari 1-2 when he gets a message over the radio: “Kimi, Fernando is faster than you. Can you confirm that you understand?” Raikkonens reply of “yes thank you, but it’s bullshit” doesn’t sit well with Alonso who takes them both out.  
championship standings after race one:  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

Malaysia   
Fernando Alonso fails to show up for the Malaysian Grand Prix because he is too busy trying to forge a contract which will give him a Red Bull drive for 2015, Raikkonen is running in 5th place when his engine fails.  
championship standings after round 2:  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

Bahrain  
Raikkonen decides not to bother racing in Bahrain as they won’t have any champagne on the podium. Alonso misses the race trying to contact Felipe Massa to see if hes interested in returning but Felipe doesn’t answer his calls  
championship standings after round 3  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

China  
Raikkonen and Alonso have a fist fight on the grid and are disqualified from the race and fined £20 000 each for not giving the F.I.A enough notice in order for them to sell tickets. Raikkonen refuses to pay the fine telling them to “add it to Lotus’ tab” and is banned from the following Grand Prix too  
championship standings after round 4  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

Spain  
With Raikkonen banned, Alonso sees this as his ideal opportunity to get one over on his team mate. This plan fails miserably when he goes to get in the car to find Raikkonen has stolen his tyre allocation and won’t give them back  
championship standings after round 5  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

Monaco  
the Ferrari team boss has finally had enough of his drivers antics and tells them they must learn to work together but Raikkonen is too drunk too listen and Alonso is formulating a plan to kidnap Daniel Ricciardo so he can have his Red Bull. The race is another disaster as the two of them run into each other on lap one.  
championship standings after round 6  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

Canada  
Alonso kidnaps Ricciardo so he can have his Red Bull but Ricciardo escapes, shows up just in time for the race to start, leaving a disgusted Alonso to go back to Ferrari. When he gets there he finds Raikkonen has stolen his car and is using it as a vodka bath. Raikkonen refuses to get out his bath to race so neither Ferrari takes part.  
championship standings after round 7  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

Austria  
Raikkonen misreads the calendar and accidentally shows up in Australia instead of Austria and Alonso is so busy laughing at Raikkonens misfortune he forgets that there’s a race on  
championship standings after round 8  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

Great Britain  
Following a torrential down pour the British health and safety executives ban the cars and make the drivers run round the track. Raikkonen sobers up halfway through and can’t go on without a fresh vodka supply and Alonso gives up after the first lap because he can’t stand getting his hair wet.  
championship standings after round 9  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

Germany  
Raikkonen is forced to miss the Grand Prix after he collapsed and is rushed into hospital where it is discovered that he has too much blood in his alcohol stream and needs an emergency vodka transfusion. Alonso finally gets Felipe Massa to return his calls but can’t make him come back as he is enjoying watching his old team fall apart too much, Alonso is running in second place in the race when Nelson Piquet deliberately crashes Raikkonens car too “see what happens this time” the safety car ruins Alonsos race dropping him too last and he finishes 4 laps down on the winner  
championship standings after round 10  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

Hungary  
Alonso takes out Hamilton on the opening lap causing Raikkonen to crash in amazement as it wasn’t him that Alonso took out this time  
championship standings after round 11  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

Belgium  
Alonso and Raikkonen both love the Spa circuit and are determined to prove to each other and the team that they are the ones that they should be backing to win the title. Unfortunately they can’t agree on who gets to pit first and both arrive in the pits on the same lap, and collide at the entrance forcing both cars to retire  
championship standings after round 12  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

Italy  
following their disastrous season the Tifosi chain themselves to the entrance to the Ferrari paddock and refuse to let them in.  
championship standings after round 13  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

Singapore  
Alonso is determined to get out of his nightmare scenario by leaving Ferrari, but no other team seems to want him. So he spends the whole weekend trying to convince other teams to take Raikkonen away for him. He is so busy trying to give Raikkonen away he misses the first ten laps of the race which raikkonen is winning. Alonso waits for him to lap him and just drives him off the track  
championship standings after round 14  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

Japan  
Mclaren offer Alonso a drive alongside Jenson Button for 2015. Alonso says he will think about it as he is still waiting to hear back from Red Bull. Raikkonen tells Ferrari he is willing to stay with them as long as they let him choose his team mate and double his vodka allowance. Raikkonen misses the race after Alonso locks him in the hotel, Alonso finishes 12th a lap down after he stopped halfway through to check on the Red Bull situation.  
championship standings after round 15  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

Russia  
Raikkonen is sampling Russian vodka all weekend and fails to show up for the race. Alonso seriously annoyed by the lack of response from Red Bull gives up the race as a bad job and goes home.  
championship standings after round 16  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

United States  
Alonso finally gets a reply from Red Bull. “Dear Fernando.. YEAH RIGHT, WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! love Sebi. P.S Thanks for the 5th world title. Even I didn’t think it would be this easy - have fun with Kimi next year.” So he agrees to the mclaren swap, and Raikkonen chooses his new teammate. The race is another double retirement as they again collide, this time on the last lap.  
championship standings after round 17  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

Brazil  
Raikkonen announces Felipe Massa as his new teammate, as he knows Massa is a much better person than Alonso will ever be. Alonso so furious that Massa answers Raikkonens calls and not his steals his vodka supply and Raikkonen refuses to race without it. Alonso retired on lap 5 with a transmission failure  
championship standings after round 18  
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points

Abu Dhabi  
The final race of the year sees Raikkonen miss the weekend because he doesn’t see the point and Alonso tries kidnapping Ricciardo one last time just in case he can get Red Bull to change their minds. It doesn’t work and Alonso is caught and banned from the final race.  
final championship standings   
Raikkonen 0 points  
Alonso 0 points


End file.
